Powerful You! Women's Network

By Monica Leggett

 I was recently asked to create a presentation of how to survive the holidays.  The first thing I thought of was, "That's a really negative way to look at it.  We can do more than survive the holidays, we can really enjoy ourselves!"  

 So here are a few tips I've been thinking about for my own holiday season. I used many of these tips for myself prior to Thanksgiving and they really work.

 Start by visualizing your "ideal" holiday season and use this to create some tangible goals to shoot for.  Include your thoughts about:

• Quality time with family and friends
• Great meals, baking cookies, etc. (I was determined to make several side dishes from my childhood and they came out great)
• No hassle over gifts (Ask for suggestions, read the sale fliers, start early)
• No over-spending (We set a budget for gifts and we're sticking to it!)
• Spiritual connection to what this holiday means to you

 Think about what sets up stress or anxiety for you this time of year and get proactive

• Financial strain- over-spending on presents (it's not too late to return some!)
• Feeling overwhelmed- too much to do and not enough time to do it
• Relationship Strain or Drama
• Trying to be all things for all people (you know who you are!)
• Too many Do-It-Yourself projects
• Being a perfectionist (high expectations)
• Being a micro-manager (this causes more stress for others than it does for you but it will always come back to you)
• Reign in your expectations
• Thanksgiving to New Years comes around every year.  Stop putting so much pressure on yourself!  Be in the moment and enjoy yourself.  Allow yourself this year to try things a little differently and let everyone else know your plans.
• Let go of perfect!

 Plan your family visits ahead of time so you don't try to see everyone on one day.   

We're seeing my family on Christmas eve and my husband's family on Christmas day.  It will be much more relaxing for all of us.

 Use your time wisely

• Break up big tasks into smaller ones that you can do in 15-30 minute bursts.  You can fit those in almost anywhere.
• Find ways to delegate to the whole family, let them own some of the burden and join you in making this holiday special.
• Use the days before a big event to prep as much as you can, create a timeline for the day-of, and be organized.
• Give up or cut back on some of your time wasters like facebook, solitaire, or TV.

 Drama-How much of that can you control? 

• Attitude, perspective, and expectations are everything and you have a choice to alter them.
• You can only control you, so don't try to make others change or think "should" thoughts like, "He should do X, or they should've done Y."
• Positivity is the key to reverse drama and increase connection. Remember what you are grateful for.  Accept others for who they are, even if they are moody or grumpy.  That's who they are!  
• Apologize early and forgive often. Mistakes happen.
• Let go of the past grudges (if there are any) and look forward to the future.

 Keys to better communication (this could be a whole manuscript!)

• Safe communication must begin with mutual respect and mutual purpose.   
• Get along with others by approaching them with positivity and give what you want to get- respect, appreciation, understanding, acknowledging your effort, etc.
• Give up the toxins of defensiveness, criticism, contempt and stonewalling (ignoring, avoiding or shutting down communication).
• If you have something to say when you are angry or upset, count to 10 and start with something positive.  DON'T go in harshly or they will immediately get defensive.

 In Summary

Be present to your surroundings, your loved ones and the reason for the season.  You may not get your "Ideal" or perfect holiday, but you'll be one step closer to it this year. 

 Believe it can happen and your mind will make it so.

 This time of year can be hectic and full of stress if you let it.  It's all in the choices you make.  I hope you'll let what you love about this time of year shine through for you; the sights, the sounds, the smells from the kitchen, the time with family and friends. Let go of the "Shoulds", set aside the negative thoughts and demands on your life for a few precious days, and Enjoy the Holidays!

 Happy Holidays to all.  And let me know how it goes!

 ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Monica Leggett is a Certified Life Coach, Relationship Specialist and PeopleMap™ Trainer. She spent over 25 years raising a family and working in the healthcare field before finding her calling as a coach.  Now she helps people flourish in all aspects their lives; overcoming obstacles, following their passion, and becoming more self-confident in their personal and business relationships.   Monica believes, “It is through strong relationships that we are able to really find joy and satisfaction in our lives.” 

 Through one-on-one coaching, tele-classes, presentations, and workshops, Monica helps people create a master plan full of personalized goals, strategies, and winning perspectives. She motivates her clients to see beyond the ordinary or expected, to overcome negative beliefs, and go after what they really want. Business owners, parents, and executives are just some of the clients that Monica has helped over the last 4 years.

Monica’s newest endeavor is a personality assessment tool and series of workshops called People Mapping, through which you discover your personality type, characteristics, strengths and Achilles heels, responses to stress, and much more.

 Monica is a contributing author in the bestselling Powerful You! book, “Empowering Transformations for Women.”

 Monica: 203-209-5462, Monica@NewStepsLifeCoaching.com.  www.NewStepsLifeCoaching.com.
Blog: www.newstepslifecoaching.com/blog
Facebook: Look for New Steps Life Coaching

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